I have pretty bad anxiety. I haven't had a doctor diagnosis this, but I know I have it. I feel it every time I try something new. I feel it every time my body feels a little different than it did yesterday. I feel it every time I'm overwhelmed. I feel it every time I think about college and the future.
I'm a very anxious person and it affects me physically.
1. I push through a lot of stomach problems.
I deal with a lot of nausea. Don't worry, I don't suffer from some sort of gastrointestinal disease. My nausea is caused by nerves. Many days, I have to choke down breakfast before leaving for school. I have to clench my hands together and make myself look like I'm not super sick the block before a test. At the end of my freshman year of high school, I stayed home from school for 3 days because of severe anxiety-induced nausea (the plus side of this scenario is that it got me out of dissection in biology). This nausea isn't something I can pray myself out of. Sometimes it's there without the "butterflies in my stomach" telling me that I'm nervous.
2. I don't have a lot of energy.
Anxiety takes so much energy out of me. Almost every day I come home from school emotionally exhausted, so I can't do much other than homework (barely), doodle (which relieves stress for me), and watch tv. My family always gets on me for being tired all of the time, but coping with anxiety is exhausting.
3. Sometimes I can't reign in my thoughts.
You know those out of control panicky thoughts that go along the lines with, "I'm going to die"? Sometimes I find those rushing through my head at lightning speed and I can't stop them. No matter what I do to try to take my mind off whatever I'm freaking out about, I still freak out. My mind wanders from the book I'm so desperately trying to get sucked into. My mind wanders away from the comforting Psalms I try to read to calm myself. (I'm actually having that right now.)
4. I freak out very easily.
One of my biggest freak-out triggers is people acting suspicious and my health. For some reason, both of those things set me off.
5. The only person who can help me through this is God.
In Peru, I had a major God moment (well, moments) where I realized that I wasn't following God at all. The trip drew me closer to Him, but not as much as the past two weeks have. Okay, I'm going to go back in time for a minute. On the Peru trip, there was something called Cry Night (basically confession night). I gave up my fearfulness. But the past two weeks, the Enemy has been attacking me with a lot of fear and anxiety. The only thing I can do whenever that happens is to pray and try to read God's Word. Basically, I could use a LOT of prayer right now.